I had never cut myself

Since I arrived at Tamms things have changed dramatically for me. Before I came to Tamms I had never cut myself but after coming to Tamms I started cutting on myself was placed in restraints numerous times was placed on psychotropic medication both voluntary and involuntary which I had never taken before coming to Tamms, as for relations with my family they were okay until my mother passed away in January of 2002 and my communication with others in my family went non-existent after that. I have stopped looking forward to positive things because it’s like nothing positive ever happens to me. I no longer look forward to leaving Tamms until my release even though I no longer get into trouble.
—name withheld for fear of retaliation, in Tamms supermax prison since 2000

tired boxer’s head

Since being at Tamms, I suffer symptoms of depression, frustration, paranoia, mental anguish, sleep disorder, deterioration of my physical health, general mental torture… These symptoms are made worse when the administration uses mentally ill prisoners as tools, or as torture device to either drive otherwise normal prisoners over the edge…the mentally ill prisoners drive the normal prisoners crazy by screaming, crying, yelling into the pod at all hours of the day and night for days non-stop, by banging on toilets, doors, walls, and/or by shaking or kicking the doors so hard that it sounds like rumbling thunder, flooding the wing with toilet water, and by throwing feces at other prisoners or inserting feces into the air vents so that the whole wing receives a dose of the smell for months. The actions of the mentally ill prisoners gives the guards an excuse to enter the pods and use tear gas….The constant bombardment of unrelenting stress takes its toll like flurry of well-placed punches on a tired boxer’s head… How long can I be expected to maintain my own mental health, when I am forced to live in an insane environment, surrounded by unbalanced people, in inhumane conditions?
—Anibal Santiago (in Tamms supermax prison since 1998)